Summer of a Blended Family

Well, the time has officially arrived. Anthony has gone to visit his mom and Garrett has gone to visit his Dad… for the remainder of the summer.

This is not a typical Crystal & Co. kind of post, but it is on my heart and flooding my mind and I have to share. It is a peek into my life. The un-perfect part of my life as I call it. (Yes, I know un-perfect is not a word, but I like it.)

It is hard.

At first I welcome the break. Being down to just three kids is like a mini-vacation.

In no time at all I will start to miss them. Even though Garrett is less than 30 minutes away, it is likely I will hear little from him while he is gone. Phone calls are rare. Often times my phone calls are not returned. Unfortunately that is just the way it is.

The first two weeks usually go pretty fast and then…. you start to feel like a huge part of you is missing. Because it is.

Missing.

Every song on the radio will remind you of them.

You constantly wonder what they are doing. Are they safe? Are they enjoying themselves?

The little kids have a hard time understanding. And each passing summer it does not get any easier. Weeks of Garrett and Anthony being gone seems like an eternity to Nick and Luke. So many questions…. do I have another Dad and Mom too? Can I go with Garrett and Anthony?

You do not want to be selfish. You know your child loves their other parent. You know sharing is right. But still you miss them.

I guess it is already on my mind (even though the ‘break’ just started) because I know what lies ahead. It is the longest time of your life- missing your child.

Divorce sucks bites! And almost ten years later it does not get any easier.

Comments

  1. Goldylocks aka Erin says

    I can't even imagine being away from my kids one night much less the whole summer.

    Many many many {{{HUGS}}} to you. Hang in there, hopefully it will go by super fast.

  2. Nikki says

    Aww. I can't imagine either. It's so hard for me to be separated from them whenever I get hospitalized during a pregnancy. My prayers are with you.

  3. gringationcancun says

    I'm sorry :(

    Now I guess is a great time to make the most of the extra quality time with the little ones :)

  4. Becki says

    We still miss a daughter whose mother asked her to choose(!) to not have a relationship with her dad (my husband). She is 37 now and we still miss her. BTW…she chose "neither" and has no relationship w/ mom or dad. So sad when a family is fractured…this "child" has missed out on our FUN family! Kudos to you for being mature and fair even though it hurts. You are a GREAT mom! :)

  5. Crystal says

    Becki- you know what I will never understand… the courts (in Texas) allow the children to choose where they want to live at the age of 12.

    Children should never be asked to choose.

    Children should never be encouraged to choose.

    They are children. If they knew what was best for themselves at the age of 12, then they would be raising themselves. KWIM?

    I am dreading when he turns 12, although it is right around the corner. Every time things do not go his way he reminds me that he 'can not wait until he is 12'.

    (Obviously I am not talking about any situation the involves abuse. I am only referring to the ping pong custody situations.)

    Thanks for the encouraging words Becki!

  6. Keli says

    :( I can not imagine what you are going through. A weekend at grandma's makes me go crazy.
    And the part where Luke & Nick don't understand. I kinda get that. When my oldest goes to school, my youngest cries the whole time and asks where he is. We get up in the morning and he says "no school today."

    :( Good Luck! Enjoy lots of time with the little ones and the big boys will be back before you know it!

  7. Anonymous says

    It's worse when your children ask, "Do I have a Daddy?" Because he's so busy with living it up with his lovers. He doesn't care about his children. That is heart breaking. Even after 45 years it hurts my heart. But God knows best, maybe it was for a good reason. He didn't deserve their love.
    He never paid child support, or even tried keeping in touch. He remarried and life goes on.
    But, I love my kids with all my heart all the more.

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