Her Arrogance Destroyed Her Marriage
Expecting our husbands to know what we want without telling them is foolish! Many women expect flowers and gifts on special occasions. They want to be romanced and dined on their birthdays. They want their husbands to say wonderful and complimentary things to them often. They want them to make them feel like the most special woman of all.
Ali McGraw, a famous actress, believes her three marriages fell apart because she didn’t tell her husbands what she expected of them. She expected them to read her mind. ~ (Click to learn about no greater love.)
Because she followed the path of not expressing herself or allowing her true self to show, each relationship fell apart. Her expectation of her husbands, she says, was nothing short of arrogant {source}. I admire her for admitting her fault in the destruction of her marriages. It is a rare quality today. Usually when one goes through a divorce, we only hear how horrible the other spouse has been.
The greatest problem with expectations in marriage is the result of unfulfilled expectations, which is anger and frustration at the other spouse for not living up to our expectations. Since they aren’t treating us and doing for us the things we want, we get angry and upset with them. The home is then filled with an angry undercurrent that takes ALL peace away from the home and leaves destruction in its path.
Yes, she should have shared her expectations with her husbands. I have told Ken exactly what I want for my birthdays before. I will even remind him. He usually remembers and we are both happy! However, if after telling your husband your expectations and he fails to live up to them, forgive him as Christ has forgiven you. Let NO root of bitterness creep in and destroy your marriage.
Our husbands can’t read our minds and will never be able to accomplish this task. Even when we share our expectations, they may not be able to fulfill them. This is why the very BEST thing you can do is place no expectations on them and place them on yourself instead. Decide to become the best help meet in the world to your husband: loving, serving, and pleasing him. THIS is the best way to work on having a great marriage!
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another,
because love covers a multitude of sins.
I Peter 4:8
Ah, those expectations, man. I’ve found that my struggle gets worst when I have unrealistic expectations and I know it. When that happens, I feel guilty and frustrated at the same time. I do tend to try to lock them away, but that does tend to breed bitterness; far better to chat with my wife about it.
And I do appreciate the reminder to keep my focus on what I can do to bless instead on what my spouse can do to bless me. Solid stuff, that.
~Luke
So glad you find it a great reminder, Luke! Sometimes we lose focus on the things that are important in marriage. We live in a society that can make arrogance easy.
Thanks for stopping by. And love what you guys are doing over at Sonlight!
We love us some Sonlight.
I used Sonlight curriculum MANY years ago when I homeschooled my children and they LOVED it! It is what developed their love of reading. They are all grown up now and married and they all still love to read!
What a great post! Pinned. Lou Lou Girls