Repairing Your Marriage After an Affair

Seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women. Almost as many women today as men are having affairs. However, some women realize after destroying their marriage and families that the cost of a cheap thrill was WAY too costly and want to mend their marriages. Where do they start if they’ve had a complete change of mind, repented and want their husband back? Is there any hope for their marriage?

YES! With God ALL things are possible! If her husband hasn’t remarried, she needs to do everything she can to gain his trust and win him to her. How does she do this? The first thing she needs to do is to humble herself, go to him and apologize for every way she hurt him and ask for forgiveness.

Then she needs to begin winning him back with her behavior. This begins by changing her behavior. How? Getting out her dusty Bible and studying it. Listening to godly teachers, preachers and praise music; allowing her mind to be transformed by God’s powerful Word. She needs to be praying diligently for the restoration of her marriage and finding godly girlfriends {by joining a Bible believing church} who will support her in seeking restoration of her marriage.

Whenever she sees her husband, she needs to smile at him and be warm towards him; the law of kindness is on her mouth. She will try to please him. {She can drop off his favorite meals at his place; send him loving and encouraging emails, etc.} At first, he will probably reject her since he has lost his trust in her and doesn’t believe her. It will take a long time usually. He will need to see that her repentance and change of behavior are genuine.

Finally, if he begins to slowly warm towards her, she needs to try to find ways to make restitution for the pain she caused him by destroying his family. She can tell him she will respect his leadership in the home. She will begin fixing him all the meals he loves. She will be available for intimacy with him when he desires. She should tell him she will do whatever it takes for him to trust her again. This will take strength and courage which can be found abundantly in Christ; for we are promised we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!

We are called to be vow keepers. Those vows you made on your wedding day are until death do you part. If you have broken faith with the husband of your youth, do all you can to restore your marriage and mend your shattered vows. Marriage was meant to be a permanent establishment as a picture of Christ and His church. Healthy families and societies are formed upon strong, healthy marriages. Women, I am encouraging you to be vow keepers and love your husband all of the days of your life.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. {Mark 10:9}