Well its official we have hit the teens. The struggles are real people.
As a mom I know my invested time. I know my sacrifice. I know the woes of my heart and the happiness and sorrow both felt.
Perspective is the absolute shift to mothering or parenting a teenager. Let’s face it because it is true. We have ours and they have theirs. The battle could go on forever over the simplest things. And there are those moments where we are made to feel like we haven’t a clue. We are dated. Things aren’t what they used to be. After all when we were kids we came in when the street lights lit up, drank from the water hose when we were thirsty, and never thought of talking back right?
These days we are plagued with worry of how are we to shelter them, protect them, and nurture them is this world we live in. I mean just jumping to giving my son his first cell phone has left me feeling a little lost.
Hitting the teenage years has certainly changed the aspects of communication. At times I struggle to make sense of some conversations and wonder how they take a sudden leap into nowhere only to get the cold shoulder for hours because things aren’t fair or it doesn’t make sense. Explaining sensibility to a teen can be seriously trying. With the blank stares, they are slumped over, and complete look of disinterest how are we to even stay enthralled in conversation.
Well, we are not alone. Everybody goes through this. We just have to break down those barriers where we go from talking at them to talking with them. I mean, how are we to combine realistic perspective without compromise? Sometimes we just have to shut our mouths and open our ears.
5 Tips to Improve Communication with Your Teen
1. Provide an element of understanding to your teen. That is right sometimes we have to claim an understanding even if we don’t completely agree. This lets them know that we can, we are compassionate, and we are giving them the option to explain and validate certain feelings.
2. Always be a good listener. Being an active listener is crucial to keeping strong communication between you and your teen. Provide your attention and focus without question so that your teen knows you are listening to what they are saying.
3. Don’t be emotional. Ok. Hello this is hard. Emotional is my middle name. But seriously. Getting emotional really doesn’t help the situation. Eliminate anger and no tears.
4. Don’t give a lecture. Don’t you remember these from childhood and do you even remember half of what was said? When you give a lecture after a while the listening turns off from your teen. So approach with a conversational aspect rather than badgering with lecture.
5. Be rational and influence value. Your teen is not going to come talking to you if your reaction is irrational. This includes immediately passing judgment and imposing your opinion without even listening to theirs.
Be patient. The woes of communication are not fixable overnight. Don’t eliminate the possibility that your two different perspectives can be feasible together.
Have a tip or helpful pointer for communicating with teens? Share your ideas!