How Motherhood Slips Through Our Hands
This week my oldest son turned 13.
There is something about this day that stands out. Him turning 13 was almost a sign or light flashing before my eyes that he is not as small as I see him anymore. He is entering a whole new world of adolescence.
It was certainly an emotional day. Hard to imagine how fast he has grown. Hard to imagine how truly inspirational he has become. I am sure all of you can relate. At this point in my life I find myself wondering where the time went? When I was told, “They grow up before you know it,” I guess I never really stopped to think about that.
As a mom we all go through a Motherhood Journey. Given no manual, no directions, we wing it and sometimes with hesitation. We address the changes and obstacles of life in a moments grace because that is what we are made for. Surprisingly we are stronger than we make ourselves out to be.
I remember when he was a sweet little boy who needed me for everything. When he fell down he ran to me for comfort. When he wanted a snack or a bedtime story I was there.
As our kids grow it really becomes a hard lesson to learn that our relationships are changing. It doesn’t mean that we are not wanted or needed for advice or comfort. It means the context of our relationship will change. How do we handle these relationship changes? How do we make sense of these changing times where we struggle to identify what role we play as our children grow? How do we let go?
When we reach these moments of our motherhood journey we are somewhat lost. Searching for all of those memories and wishing we could turn back time to ensure their value. Do you ever think about this? When our children are babies we are everything. Food, comfort, shelter, and a complete dependence for survival. As they grow we guide them and teach them in the steps and necessities for later life. Before we know it they are capable of using decision making skills and exhausting their abilities only to accomplish their dreams.
I am finding comfort in knowing what a special bond I have with my son. I understand that this is just part of the long road of my motherhood journey. These seem like obstacles or road blocks. They are the moments of heartbreak that my heart is both happy and sad. The realization that our children grow faster than we want them to. The light in their eyes shifts to a new horizon. Honestly, I struggle to make sense of why the process occurs so quickly and without notice. One day, just as I have realized, things are changing.
Letting go of our children I believe is a process and not an easy one at that. Our individual motherhood journeys are filled with an abundance of emotion that only our hearts hold deeply. Our roles as mothers, mentors, guidance counselors, and friends in a sense are fulfilling throughout our long trek of mom travel. Watching them grow is such a delicate process happening right before our eyes. Our hearts hold onto our children forever. Not just as the light they came beaming brightly into this world as precious gifts from God but also in those precious moments that we store deeply in our hearts long after they are grown and gone. The life that is given with children is truly an indescribable one filled with joy and wonder. Confidence and the ability to let go is just a baby step of the process. In these times we reach down deep for strength and the courage to overcome.
A mother’s heart is a courageous part of her being. Enhance your motherhood journey by recognizing the precious time that flies so quickly and how the ups and downs of this journey are a natural process to be cherished regardless of fear and hesitation.
How are you handling your motherhood journey?
I am just new at the teen years.
My boy Is going on 14 in November. He just started High School.
I was terrified the first day . He was going to a new school, much farther than his elementary school.
He has gotten a bit of an attitude..He will not answer my questions, like..how was your day. He angers quickly
I feel misunderstood, I feel like my son wants to distance himself from me! It saddens me. I don’t know what to do. 🙁
Hello Sondra,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. These are certainly relative to a lot of what many parents with teens are feeling. Our expectations and hearts don’t always coordinate. Sometimes our efforts of getting a reciprocated reaction from our children can be disheartening. Truth is they are running on a lot of emotion too. There are some really great parenting resources shared this week on the home page of Crystal & Co that I personally have found to be quite useful. Be encouraged that you are not alone in this process of adolescence transition.