How Expectations Kill Relationships

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Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Most women expect their husbands to buy them flowers, chocolates and/or a card expressing their love to them. I have an idea. How about you buy flowers, chocolates and a card for your husband expressing your love to him? Surprise him!

Expectations kill relationships. I know. They almost killed mine. The more you expect from your husband, the worse your marriage will become. The most common reason for divorce is “I’m not happy.” I have a suggestion to make; make it your mission to make your husband happy and see what happens. Try taking your focus off of yourself and the “What about me?”  thinking and put your efforts into pleasing your husband.

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If you want more affection in your marriage, begin giving your husband more affection. If you want him to say nice things to you, begin saying nice things to him. Begin treating him like you want him to treat you for this is the Golden Rule! In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you,  for this is the Law and the Prophets {Matthew 7:12}.

I just heard on a TV program women complaining about their husbands and how they would like to leave their husbands at home with the children for a few days so their husbands will appreciate them. How about wives working full-time in their husbands’ jobs for a few days and experiencing what their husbands have to do to pay the bills every day? If you want your husband to appreciate you more, begin appreciating him. We reap what we sow.

If you deeply desire flowers for Valentine’s Day, ask if he would mind buying them for you. Most men forget holidays, birthdays and anniversaries and they usually don’t mind their wives reminding them about it if they say it in a kind, not angry way. They aren’t mind readers and don’t pay attention to details in life like buying candy and flowers. Instead of getting mad they forgot, simply remind them and share what you’d love for Valentine’s Day!

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The quality men find most attractive in their wives is joyfulness and playfulness. You can’t be this way towards him if you are usually upset, critical or angry with him because of unmet expectations. If you’re always upset with him about something, he will have no desire to treat you special, say nice things to you or romance you. We can’t win our husband’s good graces through anger and disappointment. We win them by becoming a kind, gentle, forgiving and loving wife, for God commands that wives love their husbands.

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  1. Corla Enslow says:

    Excellent post. Wise words indeed.

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