Twin Tips- When NICU Separates Your Twins (Guest Post)
Cathy is a mom of boy/girl twins and lives in Canada. When her sweet babies were born her NICU experience was something she could have never planned for. Read her story below. What would you do in her shoes? Do you know anyone who experienced something similar? Her story will make you think.
Make sure you swing by and check out her lovely blog as well.
On the second to last day of 2009 my life completely changed. At 36 weeks gestation, I gave birth to my twins. Baby A – My son Aaron, weighed nearly 6 lbs. Baby B My daughter Annika, weighted just 3.5 lbs. My babies were born via c-section and as soon as Annika was delivered was whisked into the NICU. Daddy followed Annika and I was taken into the recovery room. Aaron was brought to me soon after. After about an hour, I was finally wheeled in to see my baby daughter in the NICU. It was a scary site to see. She was so tiny and hooked up to so many tubes & wires. I was not allowed to hold her, but I could give her my finger to hold on to. While I was visiting Annika in the NICU, Aaron was being cuddled by one of the many friendly nurses at Surrey Memorial. I was happy to have a chance to bond with Annika one on one, just as I had with Aaron in the recovery room. It was only after my first visit with Annika the NICU that I discovered Aaron was not allowed to come into the NICU. How am I supposed to bond with both my babies if I can’t be with both of them at the same time! I remember feeling as though I didn’t really have twins, I felt like I had one baby in two different rooms. It was such a surreal feeling.
I spoke with several hospital officials asking to allow Aaron, my hubby and me to visit with Annika and bond. They wouldn’t budge. The kept stating that rules are rules and in order to protect Annika from the H1N1 virus, Aaron was not allowed into the NICU. Exasperated I explained that Aaron was all of 3 days old, and has never left the hospital so he couldn’t possibly have the H1N1 virus. I also tried to explain how Annika would likely find comfort in having her brother with her and likely recover faster being near her twin. They once again said No Way. Rules are Rules.
This was supposed to be a joyous time – celebrating the birth of my son and daughter, but it was extremely difficult for me and my family.The only people allowed to visit Annika in the NICU were me and my hubby. My parents would come by everyday and stand at the window, hoping to get a glimpse of their granddaughter and send her positive thoughts for a speedy recovery. In order for both me and my hubby to visit with Annika (at the same time) someone would have to look after Aaron. Usually we could find a nurse to watch Aaron for 30 mins while we cuddled and fed Annika. If we couldn’t find a nurse, my hubby and I would have to take turns – one of us would wait with Aaron in the room, while the other went to visit with Annika. It was a very frustrating situation.
Since I had a c-seciton and Aaron was jaundice, I was able to extend my hospital stay to 5 nights. On the 6th day I was now faced with having to leave the hospital without Annika. I was beside myself. I was going home with only one of my babies. The logistics of breastfeeding / pumping having one baby at home, and one baby in the hospital is nearly impossible. It was a stressful time but thankfully we only had to endure 5 days of it. 11 days after their birth, Aaron & Annika got to meet each other and we were able to bring Annika home.
Although our situation was tough, it only lasted for 11 days. I know there are plenty of our parents of twins who have had to endure much worse. I think there should have been more leniency toward allowing Aaron into the NICU. The board of directors who made the rule that nobody other than the parents could come into the NICU should have been able to see that some exceptions could be made.
What do you think? If you have been through a similar experience I would love to hear your story. Please leave your comments below.
Cathy Schouten is the proud mom to Aaron & Annika, 9 month old twins. She lives in beautiful Vancouver Canada and is wife to her best friend. Cathy is a small business owner and has recently started her blog Multiple Mamas, a twin mom blog.
Wow… that is heartbreaking. I would think they should see that in some cases, exceptions should be made- especially since they recognize the importance of touch now and promote kangaroo care for sick babies. I do not have twins, so my experiences are totally different, but I can relate to some of this story. The day after my daughter was born, she started having seizures and was whisked to the NICU. Suddenly, I was alone in my room with no baby when people came to visit me. A lot had not heard yet and looked around wondering where she was. They couldn't visit her.. they couldn't even see her because she was in a whole different wing than where I was. I felt she needed me and spent as much time as possible in there, but inevitably I would have to go back to my room for my own checkups. When I was discharged from the hospital, I was in tears. I never imagined leaving the hospital without my baby. There I stood, at the curb of the hospital with a nurse and loads of "It's a Girl", " Congratulations" balloons and flowers and no baby. When I got home and stepped out of the car, the neighbors came rushing over to see her… and then asked "Where's the baby?" I was crushed. It got worse before it got better, she ended up being moved to a children's hospital an hour away from our house, but thankfully, was only there for four days and came home six days after she was born.
Wow. I can imagine how stressful and frustrating that must have been for you. My boys were born at 34 weeks and spent 3 weeks in the NICU. They both came home on the same day. I was able to stay at the hospital for almost 6 days but it was still so hard and so strange to go home without them.
I was lucky that my boys were in the same room the entire time they were at the hospital. They had a private room with their own nurse but they never allowed the babies to lay together. That was hard for me. I have read so many stories about twins that were comforted and healed faster when they were next to their twin. Mine were across the room from eachother. Still better than what happened to you, but I wish they would have let them be together. Overall, our NICU experience was a positive one, but I am glad it is over.
How exhausting and upsetting.
I am really shocked. They use flu far too often as an excuse in hospitals. They just shared a womb together for crying out loud!
So glad that is over and all is well. Your pair sure is adorable!
Thanks for your guest post. I love for other mom's of multiples to share their stories!
The NICU is something I had no experience with, thankfully, with my boys.
I can't imagine.
A twin pregnancy is such a huge stress, and I can't imagine not being able to have the babies together. I just want to hug you after reading this.