My Simple Abundance

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‘Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.’ Melody Beattie

Almost ten years ago I encountered one of the most difficult and trying times in my life.

Everything was topsy-turvy.

Life and all of its elements were extremely raw and exposed.

Lots of tears were shed.

Lots of pain- heartache was certain.

I was unhappy in a marriage and very, very quickly found myself in the shame of a divorce from my high school sweetheart. A man whose heart I broke. A man I married far too young. A man I shared a son with- Garrett.

Since, I have learned that if you spend your life searching for happiness, you will hurt many people along the way.

This is a topic I have discussed quite a bit with my family- siblings and close friends especially- but other than that, it has been a pretty private matter.

I am sharing this now because it was a time in my life where I was truly searching for something. Finding my authentic self and finding the strength to believe in me- Crystal, was a feat almost every day, but a journey I could not let go of.

A journey I still pay for every day.

A journey which still brings endless questions from my almost eleven year old son.

I firmly believe that we all have a story that is worth hearing. It is this story that makes us who we are and who we are not. This collection of chapters; my childhood which makes me the parent and person I am today; divorce that pushes me to be a better woman; and the chapter of raising all of these children that makes me want to be a better mom.

It is this testimony that has left me with strong convictions regarding divorce and family and a better appreciation for what these chapters are worth. Because of this, I am a firm believer in counseling, reading and self help.

During my divorce I needed something to help me through every day. Something to give me hope that the tears would stop, the pain would cease, and forgiveness for myself would someday be seen. The guilt never really goes away, you know?

There is a book I took hold of during this time in my life and I did not want to let go of it- Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It got me through many, many days.

simple, adj. 1: without embellishment; 2: clarity of form and thought; 3: fundamental

abundance, n. 1: an ample quantity, profusion; 2: wealth; 3: plentiful

simple abundance, 1: an inner journey; 2: a spiritual and practical course in creative living; 3: a tapestry of contentment

The book is a daily reader.

Barnes and Noble and Half Priced Books always have many copies on the shelf. It opens up your eyes to a life of gratitude and self worth- no matter what is going on within you. A divorce, a death, family issues, personal struggles, even just being a mom. Simply put, this book helped me reconnect with and uncover myself- my authentic self.

I encourage everyone to at least browse through her book the next time you are at the local book store. Take home a copy if you can.

Gratitude is defiantly something I have found over the years. It has helped me make sense of the many facets of my story. From this I learned that every stage in my life teaches me something new. It has given me an understanding of my past and hope for my future. I am left with a vision for tomorrow and sense of peace at the end of the day.

I have pulled my copy of Simple Abundance back off of my book shelf. Starting January 1, 2010, I want to embark on this journey again.

I would like to share glimpses of my experience as I go along- I think we all need it.

I will leave you with a peek at the forward of Simple Abundance- get your mind going.

‘Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do in order to have what you want.’ Margaret Young

More to come….