Are You a Vow Keeper?

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When you try to improve your husband, you reveal a serious flaw in your character, the fault of self-righteousness.  You indicate that you consider yourself better than he.  {Helen Andelin}

Every single woman I have mentored wants to change her husband; every single one!  The first time we meet for coffee, I spend time just getting to know them; their past and their lives.  Usually they are very sweet and kind women.  Later, they will tell me of habits or behaviors they don’t like about their husbands. They NEVER tell me how they are as a wife; their faults and what they do wrong. For some reason, it is always so much easier to see other’s faults rather than focusing on our own and trying to change them. We want others to accept us the way that we are so we should extend the same courtesy to our husbands.­­­

Are you a vow keeper? Are you trying to change your husband?


Learning to accept your spouse just the way he or she is isn’t easy.  It takes a determined effort to overlook their faults, but everyone has faults. There is no perfect spouse out there.  We are all human.  After 34 years of marriage, there are still things I’d love to change about Ken, but I have to remind myself that it isn’t my job to do that.  I have to let him be who he is and dwell on his good qualities. Do you try to change your husband? Are you unhappy with him when he doesn’t live up to your expectations? How would you feel if he treated you the way that you treat him?

Did you know that wives are commanded by God to love their husbands? It has absolutely nothing to do with your feelings or his behavior. It has everything to do with obeying God. On the day you married him, you vowed in front of a crowd that you would love your husband in good times and in bad times, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty. Are you a vow keeper through the difficult times? Does making vows mean anything to you? I encourage all of you to be vow keepers and decide to love your husband through thick or thin and accept him, warts and all. A healthy society is built upon healthy, strong families.

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Mark 10:9


Marriage Advice


  1. This is definitely a great reminder. I’ve been guilty of constantly complaining about my husband and not paying attention to my own faults. I’m trying to become more aware of things that I need to change about myself.

    1. Oh Katherine, I can relate! Sometimes my complaints can be many and Lori’s advice is so important for me to remember.

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