Marriage: No Greater Love

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So, you married your best friend. At least I hope you did! The Bible says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Marriage can be down right difficult. So often our hearts and our husbands collide and it’s not pretty. Why isn’t he more sensitive? Why won’t he help out around the house more? What is wrong with him?

Today we’ll be looking at what it really means to “lay down your life” for the one you love and how as Christian women we can love our husbands better.

No Greater Love - What does it mean to lay down one's life?

No Greater Love

Marriage is amazing. When it’s good – it’s great! But when it’s hard, it can be really, really hard. I know because I’ve been there. It’s easy to get frustrated with your husband when you feel like he’s not the same thoughtful guy you married.

And maybe he could use a little polishing! But then, maybe we all could use a little polishing. If I’m honest with myself, I know I’m not always my best me. Unfortunately.

It’s impossible to change your husband. You can’t do it. That’s God’s work. It’s better to focus on yourself because in doing so, you have the power by your very witness to help your husband become the best man God intended him to be!

1 Peter 3: 1-2 tells us, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” {emphasis mine}

That’s real power! 

I know some husbands really are not good providers and do not protect their wives. Abuse in any form is never okay. But for the average marriage? Most husbands really do want to make things work. Most husbands really do try – even if they don’t always understand what it is their wives really want. And even if you lost that connection you once had – it’s never too late to work on getting it back!

I’ve found over the years that if I’m feeling discouraged or frustrated with my husband that remembering all those reasons my husband is a pretty great guy helps me find that soft spot in my heart again. Remember, but don’t forget that however romantic or thoughtful he may have been in the past, the way he lays down his life today is what is truly romantic.

I love this quote by Ann Voskamp: 

How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic.

Which brings us back to our verse for today. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. How does your husband lay down his life day after day for you, for your kids? Here are some ideas… maybe you can add to the list!

  • He gets up everyday and goes to work {maybe even to a job he hates} so the bills get paid.
  • He mows the grass every week. My husband hates yard work… and yet, he’s always out there getting it done.
  • He rubs your back even when he’s tired.
  • He goes out late at night to get cough syrup because your little one is sick.
  • He unclogs the toilet because, well, because he loves you.
  • He holds your head when you’re puking your guts out because your pregnant.
  • He loves your body even though it’s not the same after having a bunch of kids.
  • He rescues you from that wasp that terrifies you.

How do you lay down your life for your husband? And I’m sure you do. But do you do it with a grumbling spirit or with the quiet spirit that comes from the Lord?

No Greater Love - What does it mean to lay down one's life?

Laying down your life doesn’t mean you literally have to die for your spouse. It can simply mean you are willing to sacrifice comfort and sleep for the one you love. It means dying to your self so that someone else can be lifted up.

Our men – they have so much stress! They carry such heavy burdens. Often their place of work is incredibly secular, foul-mouthed, and ruthless. But they do it day after day for their family. That’s real love!

How can you set aside your own pride today for the man you love? How will you lay down your life willingly, joyfully for him?


  1. I LOVE that you posted this on your blog, Crystal!!! It is right up my alley as you know. Marriages are in such trouble today that we need to be reminded continually to look at our husband’s good qualities and what drew us to him in the first place and allow God to change our husband where He sees they need changing. We don’t need to be our husband’s biggest critic and judge. We are called to be his biggest supporter!

    1. I am so excited to have Melissa here guest posting about marriage once a month! It is a topic I’ve wanted to add to my site for a very long time!!!

      So glad you liked the post! I got a text from another friend tonight saying the exact same thing!

  2. Thank you for posting this Crystal. First off, I love it when I find a blog that touches on Christian topics. It shows there are people out there that still have their priorities straight. And since I am married, the content is so valuable. It’s a nice reminder to stop criticizing my hubby and uplift him, plus remember that I am no where no perfect AT ALL. Thanks!

  3. Wow thank you for this post it is dead on for me 🙂 only being married 3 years with a 2 year but still seeing some tough times. it takes love and work but is easy to forget the little things he does that can be taken for granted. We have a great relationship but reading this helps put some things in a new light 🙂

  4. Shannon Ramirez says:

    I love this! I Love the way you listed the things your husband does daily/ weekly. Such a great reminder. Thank you

  5. I’m coming up on five years of marriage and I’ve been trying to remember to keep thanking my husband for all the wonderful things he does. He does so much for us and I knew he would when he proposed. (I loved Ann’s quote!) I have a gem and I need to remember to show him that I think he’s amazing (without grumbling).

  6. Love, love love this! Well written and oh so true! Saying hello from freedom Fridays! Following you because I am looking forward to reading more!

  7. I loved this! At the beginning of our marriage I used to think I could change my husband, just to realize that was impossible. I was such an ungrateful wife. I’m so glad God restored our marriage! This is such a good reminder and got me to reflect on if I am “putting my life down for him” enough. Thank you for this. Have a great week!

  8. Hello beautiful! Beautiful article. Pinned. Thank you for taking the time to stop by! I hope to see you at our party tonight, it starts at 7 pm. We love to party with you!
    Happy Monday! Lou Lou Girls

  9. I so needed this this week! Thank you so much for linking up ant mommy needs a time out Thursdays. Do you mind if I print this out and share with the ladies in my bible study?

    1. Lisa, I am so happy this hit home for you. For so long I have wanted to share marriage advice on my site. I am so glad we’ve taken the plunge to do this. We all need to be reminded of things like this. You can absolutely print this out for your friends!

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