Stop Arguing with Your Husband and Start Smiling

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My husband and I have mentored some very unhappy couples.  We’ve also known many couples who have gotten divorced.  The sad thing is that most of these couples who are unhappy with each other and argue all the time or have gotten divorced are great people.  When I spend one-on-one time with the wives, I love them! They are wonderful women who are easy to talk and share with. I can tell their husbands are good men, also. Are any of them perfect? No, but no one is perfect. What happens?  Why do two good people end up fighting and getting divorced?

They stop learning to enjoy each other. They focus upon each other’s sins and faults instead of upon their good qualities. When I first begin mentoring a woman, all she does is tell me how horrible her husband is to her and all the things he does wrong. Then I ask questions about her behavior. Is she kind and generous with him? Does she speak negatively about him to others? Does she yell at him and get angry with him? Does she disrespect him? Does she treat him the way she wants him to treat her? {We do reap what we sow!}

relationship marriage advice stop arguing

I write about marriage because I want more couples to enjoy each other and stay together. Strong and healthy marriages are the foundation of a healthy society.  It only takes one person to stop arguing and start smiling. Why don’t you be the one to begin this process? For some reason, the Bible teaches that a woman has a huge part in whether or not the marriage is strong. The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands {Proverbs 14:1}.

Realize he isn’t going to change, especially by nagging and manipulating him.  Stop letting little things that he does bother you. Accept him the way that he is and even learn to appreciate the qualities you first fell in love with. Start encouraging him.  Lighten up and start having fun.  Thank God for him every day!  A thankful heart accomplishes so much. Life is way too short to make anyone else’s life miserable.

I believe most couples could have a good marriage as long as they aren’t married to a truly evil man or woman.  All it takes is a decision of the mind to start thinking good thoughts about him and learn to not always have to correct him, voice your displeasure, and remember how to smile. Your actions flow out from your thoughts.  Renew your mind with God’s truth. Dwell on the lovely and the good.

Set your mind on enjoying your husband.  Don’t get offended easily or hold grudges. Love forgives freely and easily. Make the decision to walk in love. Decide to be joyful and not argue anymore. Start serving him.  This is what being truly rich really looks like…rich in love and rich in relationships.

Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Philippians 2:2,3

Marriage Advice


  1. Thank you for this post, it was just the reminder I needed! It’s like we all know to drink more water and less junk, but habits die hard. I find the same is true with emotional habits. When I’m faithful to keep my prayer life and quiet time with God healthy, everything else falls in line. Likewise, when I let those things slip, my pride and insecurities rise up….suddenly what my husband thinks is helpful advice, I perceive as him belittling me or mocking the situation. I know there are a million pearls of wisdom I have yet to learn, but how can I think I’ll grow if I can’t be disciplined enough to follow through with the first steps? I think the exhaustion of a new baby has a lot to do with it, but if we can make time for so many other little vices in our lives, we can make time to pray more for our husbands. It’s difficult to maintain a hardened heart about someone when you are advocating for them in prayer. Thanks again for this timely reminder!! 🙂

    1. Jenell Magrum says:

      Amen sister – I couldn’t agree with you more! You and this Wise Lady have hit the nail on the head, and have been such a good reminder. Thank you so much, both of you! 🙂

  2. This is great advice. The marriage therapist/researcher John Gottman approaches things from a different perspective, yet comes to exactly the same conclusions (his “4 predictors of divorce”).

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