So, you married your best friend. At least I hope you did! The Bible says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13
Marriage can be down right difficult. So often our hearts and our husbands collide and it’s not pretty. Why isn’t he more sensitive? Why won’t he help out around the house more? What is wrong with him?
Today we’ll be looking at what it really means to “lay down your life” for the one you love and how as Christian women we can love our husbands better.
No Greater Love
Marriage is amazing. When it’s good – it’s great! But when it’s hard, it can be really, really hard. I know because I’ve been there. It’s easy to get frustrated with your husband when you feel like he’s not the same thoughtful guy you married.
And maybe he could use a little polishing! But then, maybe we all could use a little polishing. If I’m honest with myself, I know I’m not always my best me. Unfortunately.
It’s impossible to change your husband. You can’t do it. That’s God’s work. It’s better to focus on yourself because in doing so, you have the power by your very witness to help your husband become the best man God intended him to be!
1 Peter 3: 1-2 tells us, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” {emphasis mine}
That’s real power!
I know some husbands really are not good providers and do not protect their wives. Abuse in any form is never okay. But for the average marriage? Most husbands really do want to make things work. Most husbands really do try – even if they don’t always understand what it is their wives really want. And even if you lost that connection you once had – it’s never too late to work on getting it back!
I’ve found over the years that if I’m feeling discouraged or frustrated with my husband that remembering all those reasons my husband is a pretty great guy helps me find that soft spot in my heart again. Remember, but don’t forget that however romantic or thoughtful he may have been in the past, the way he lays down his life today is what is truly romantic.
I love this quote by Ann Voskamp:
How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic.
Which brings us back to our verse for today. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. How does your husband lay down his life day after day for you, for your kids? Here are some ideas… maybe you can add to the list!
- He gets up everyday and goes to work {maybe even to a job he hates} so the bills get paid.
- He mows the grass every week. My husband hates yard work… and yet, he’s always out there getting it done.
- He rubs your back even when he’s tired.
- He goes out late at night to get cough syrup because your little one is sick.
- He unclogs the toilet because, well, because he loves you.
- He holds your head when you’re puking your guts out because your pregnant.
- He loves your body even though it’s not the same after having a bunch of kids.
- He rescues you from that wasp that terrifies you.
How do you lay down your life for your husband? And I’m sure you do. But do you do it with a grumbling spirit or with the quiet spirit that comes from the Lord?
Laying down your life doesn’t mean you literally have to die for your spouse. It can simply mean you are willing to sacrifice comfort and sleep for the one you love. It means dying to your self so that someone else can be lifted up.
Our men – they have so much stress! They carry such heavy burdens. Often their place of work is incredibly secular, foul-mouthed, and ruthless. But they do it day after day for their family. That’s real love!
