As moms we all have moments of weakness.
Moments of distress and an overwhelming need to run for the hills.
Yelling, screaming, and the agony of the headache that follows. You all know what I am talking about.
Raising kids is tough. It can be so difficult at times we struggle at finding all of the right resources or tools to help make things better.
On top of that kids are constantly going through phases and changes. One day you are tying their shoes and giving them big hugs and then before you know it you are just dropping them off with a quick “Goodbye, I love you” because friends are standing around and the jeopardy of their reputation is on the line.
Where does the time go?
So how do we handle these changes and phases without an abundance of weakness or frustration? How do we find calm and make the most of every moment minus the yelling and screaming?
Good news. There are ways. Seriously.
First things first. Do you know what yelling does to your kids? During these moments of weakness in yelling we are probably thinking this will get their attention or that this is a proclamation of the divine stress build-up. Truth is it doesn’t. There are a lot of negatives to yelling to make a point. After all this is motherhood and we are not staking claim to unchartered territory or participating in riot. These are our kids. Believe it or not there are ways of influencing your expectations without even raising your voice.
9 Tips To Stop Yelling At Your Kids
1. Stay aware of yourself. This includes all of the classic signs of becoming angry or frustrated. If you feel yourself getting mad then take a second or a deep breathe before you speak.
2. Check out your expectations. If you are constantly yelling or aggravated at your kids you may expecting too much from them. The idea is to expect from their capability and age.
3. Lead by example. If you don’t want to appear out of control or stressed 24/7 then opt for a calmer mood. If these means desensitizing with a quick walk in the morning or even yoga then commit to a daily routine for yourself that clears your head to tackle the day. If you appear overwhelmed your child feeds on of the negative behavior you exhibit.
4. Develop a strategy. If you have to perform daily tasks that ultimately always end in a parent-child struggle them aim to do these things alone and without a distraction. This reduces stress on you and also creates a better environment for the child.
5. Always give a warning. Warnings often times set the tone for punishment or an advisement of choices. A simple warning advises your child how they are responsible for their own actions.
6. Teach yourself to speak low. Yes this could mean that you whisper at first but really conditioning yourself to speak in a lower tone will ultimately work like any other habit and become a regular routine of approach to your children.
7. Ask for help. That’s right. It is okay to ask for help from others like your spouse or family. This is sometimes the best way to breakdown a really stressful situation.
8. Become a better listener. Sometimes we just don’t take the time to listen before we react. Its totally natural. If your child is trying to explain a situation then allow it without interruption or continued questioning. Do not approach in a condescending manner or apply guilt. This always results in an inappropriate reaction from both you and your child.
9. Don’t be quick to think and speak. Sometimes the woes of motherhood have us reacting off of emotion. We easily take things personally without even thinking about it. Reduce your speed. Slow down and allow some time before reacting to something your child does.
There are ways to be powerful and effective as a parent without yelling. Have tips of your own? Please share.