We’ve known one another for a while.
We have this love-hate relationship. You know this as well as I do.
Years ago I could handle you. Now, with all these kids, it has just become too much. Some days more than I can bear.
We must come to an understanding of some sort. An agreement.
Real quick-like? Before I lose my mind preferably.
Well, before I lose what is left of my mind.
Not everything about you is bad.
I love the way you smell. I really do.
Sometimes there is a hint of Tide or Cheer. Sometimes we Gain or Surf. Whatever is on sale.
Well, lately, you only smell like HE products for fear you will destroy my new somewhat needy washer.
You work well with others, like my favorite bleach. Thus allowing you to smell extra clean.
And to finish you with Downy’s April Fresh is oh so very nice.
When drying is done you are so warm and so yummy. I could sniff you all day long.
Actually, I would like a candle that smells like you. But that is another post for another day.
(Crazy obsessions of a bon.bon.eating.soap.opera.watching.mom!)
But, this my friend, is where our love affair ends.
You exhaust me.
You overwhelm me.
You consume my time.
You never seem to end.
Over night, you multiply- without warning.
The bins of your filth runneth over- now on the floor and I am forced to step over you.
Sometimes, I fall over you.
At times you are moldy because a child has placed a wet towel or wash rag in the mix.
(Never ever a good thing.)
You’re needy- the sorting, the prepping, the washing, the drying, the folding, the hanging… the stacks.
Finally I put you away.
I start to feel accomplished.
I can mark you off my list.
Then, oh look, there you are again.
Didn’t I just put you away?
What are you doing back in the laundry room?
And you, too?
Did someone really wear you?
You have a mind of your own.
You must be related to a man, because you leave me perplexed and I do not understand your kind.
Here is my solution….
Can’t we just Jetson-ize you?
Wouldn’t that be the best for all of us- you, Lenny, me AND the children?
To save my sanity?
I know you want me to be happy.
Just think about it.
We are not getting rid of you- just modifying you.
Entertain the idea, would ya?
I have given you the solution, now you come up with the step by step plan.
Keep in mind I am a woman- I need details.
Sooner is better than later.
I’ll be waiting…..