It’s Either Her or Me and Giveaway!

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No, Lenny is not having an affair.

Or, he better not be!

Cause I’ll get a golf club and chase him down the…. just kidding. {kind of}

It’s Either Her or Me is a guide to help a mom and her daughter-in-law get along and is written by Ellie Slott Fisher.

As a mom to five boys I know that someday it is very very possible some young gal is going to come along, no matter how much each of my sweet boys love me, and I will be replaced.

Replaced? Yes, that is what I said.

She may even move him 500 miles away. Hopefully, she likes me. Hopefully she lets me see my grandchildren whenever I want and is just fine with me being called Mimi or Gram. There is the chance she will decide that Christmas dinner should no longer be at my house, after all, she needs to spend time with her parents as well so of course this occasion should be moved to her house demanding a new tradition.

And to think, I will get to endure this times five!!!

Guess if I think the childhood years are hard- I should reconsider!

And, what if I do not like her? What if she has a problem with my son calling me once a day? What if she feels I am too bossy and opinionated when I sweetly tell her maybe my new grand baby has gas and that is why he is crying? What if holidays are a nightmare dealing with not one daughter-in-law, but FIVE!

Oh, I have a plan. I will hopefully make her my BFF and take her shopping and watch the grand babies while she runs errands. This way there are never any issues with Christmas dinners, grand babies, and living right down the street from Momma… here in Texas! What a plan! Me and all my boys…. we could take up an entire block.

Maybe my daughter-in-laws will be pushovers like me. After all, my husband ran all of our children’s’ names by his mother before we completed the birth certificates. He loves her dearly. And she reads my blog- Hi Tina! 🙂

Ellie has it down, let me tell you. This book is amazing. I LOVE her writing style. It is as if she is sitting on my couch talking to me. A writer who speaks from her heart and has thought of all the things I think of as I invest my blood, sweat, tears, and soon to be grey hairs, into raising these five boys.

Ellie tells us, ‘As mothers of sons eventually discover, one day you’re relegated to the backseat of the car you helped pay for, while some young nimble thing regally claims the passenger seat. It hits you at that moment: You’ve been replaced. Now the only way to retain some semblance of your cherished role as most venerated female in your son’s life is by getting along with his girlfriend.’

And the ‘Keepsakes‘ Ellie Slott Fisher captures at the end of each chapter are pieces of great advice in It’s Either Her or Me. Here are the ones I love and also believe to be very true.

1) The two women must know their boundaries. Even if they become close, marital problems are never to be discussed with his mom.

2) Mothers should carefully pick their battles. Never interfere over decorating or dog rearing. In the end, they matter very little.

3) There are as many girlfriends and wives from hell as there are moms from hell. Fortunately, there are even more heavenly ones.

4) A significant other wins first place or the game’s over- for everyone.

5) A mother wants someone who will make her son happy. A girlfriend just wants her to recognize that she does that.

6) Love, love, love that birthday present.

7) Rather than tell his mother what you want the grandchildren to call her, ask what she would prefer. (Um, Gram or Mimi. So, future daughter-in-law, unless your momma has a blog where she claimed these names, long before any of our children were old enough to marry, just know- I called it first.)

8) A woman you view as a difficult mother-in-law may very well be viewed by your children as a loving grandmom. And that is something for which to be truly grateful.

She dedicates an entire section of the book to the element that sister’s throw into this mess and their ability to be critical of the new sister-in-law and their inability to bite their tongues. (As the big sister to three brothers, who I grew up being very close to and sometimes forget I can not always be mother hen, I am totally guilty of this! Two of my brothers are married and one is in the mist of walking down the aisle. I can say I love them all now! Thank God, for their sake of course, because that does not just happen over night!) Here are the Keepsakes:

1) A sister’s dislike for her brother’s significant other will affect the entire family. It’s so much easier to look for the positive points. Try this one: She loves your brother.

2) Sisters should put themselves in the girlfriend’s shoes and try to appreciate how awkward it is for an outsider to join a family.

3) Yes, your brother is wonderful and anyone is truly lucky to have him. But he probably isn’t perfect.

‘I realize many moms- me included- may not want to hear this, but if you really value your son’s happiness and if he appears to be content with this other woman, you have to relinquish your first-place standing. And smile while doing it,’ Ellie writes.

If you have one boy or ten, you’ve got to read this book! You can find it on Amazon as well as other major booksellers.

Other books by Ellie Slott Fisher you should check out are:

Mom, There’s a Man in the Kitchen and He’s Wearing Your Robe

Dating for Dad’s

Ellie can also be found on Facebook and Twitter. Stop by and say hi. Tell her you read my review and can’t wait to read It’s Either Her or Me! Love her writing style as much as I do? Check out her blog for a steady dose of ‘honesty, frankness, personal (and embarrassing) revelations and a healthy dose of humor’!

I’ve got you interested, don’t I? You really want to read It’s Either Her or Me, don’t you? Well guess what?

I have a giveaway! (Matthew is checking it out… planning early for the cat fights. Pick Momma sweet baby, and everything will be just fine!)

====>>>> Here is how you enter to win:

Each of the follow count as one entry. Make sure you leave an email address or your blog site address on each entry so I can get in touch with you if you win.



1) Leave me a comment below telling me why you are so excited to read this book!

2) Follow me using Google Friend (in my right side bar). Leave me a comment on this post stating you have signed up or if you’re already following.

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5) Follow me on Twitter. Leave a comment on this post telling me you have started following or are already a follower.

6) Twitter this message once a day (including the link):

Crystal & Co has a book giveaway. It’s Either Her or Me- A Guide to Help a Mom and her Daughter-in-Law Get Along http://tinyurl.com/y55uk99. Leave a comment on here each day stating you have done this.

7) Facebook this message once a day (including the link): Crystal & Co has a book giveaway. It’s Either Her or Me- A Guide to Help a Mom and her Daughter-in-Law Get Along http://tinyurl.com/y55uk99. Leave a comment on this blog post each day when you do this.

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Email me with any questions: crystalandcomp@yahoo.com.

This giveaway will end Monday, April 19, 2010, at 11:59 pm.

The book review and the giveaway were provided by Random House .

The opportunity to do this review was choreographed by Business 2 Blogger.

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