We’ve been married for 34 years. Our first 23 years were very difficult. There were many things I wish I had been taught that I know now. Here is a list of things that newlyweds should be taught .
Wisdom for Newlyweds
1. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. You don’t need to say everything you are thinking. Think before you speak. If it is destructive, don’t say it. If it is to argue your point, don’t say it. Try to only say words that speak life and are encouraging. Yes, share your opinions and thoughts, but then leave it there. Build up your husband. Laugh at his jokes. Never speak evil about him to others. Tell him you love him frequently. Appreciate him for how hard he works. Tell others what a great man you married.
2. Smile every time you see him. This will show him that you are happy to see him. Men are attracted to joyful, happy women. You be one. Even when you don’t feel like it, smile at him. A smile brightens the room and will make him feel accepted by you.
3. See him in the best light. No, he will never be perfect, but neither will you. We are commanded to dwell on the lovely and the pure. Always remember what attracted you to him in the first place. You know, by respecting him and thinking highly of him is a reflection on you since you are the one who chose to marry him in the first place!
4. Always put him first. You were created to be his help meet, not your children’s or parent’s. Never neglect him, especially when the children come along. He still needs you! Men do need a help meet. He needs your intimacy and affection. He needs you to keep the home tidy and nourishing meals ready for him.
5. Allow him to lead. He is God’s ordained leader of your home. The sooner you accept this and allow him to be the leader, the more peace you will have in your home and in your marriage. Don’t let him lead in just the big decision, but even in the small ones: where he likes to eat out, how tidy he likes the home, what foods he enjoys, etc. I have found that the more you try to please him, the more he will want to please you! We reap what we sow.
Oh, how I wish I knew all of these things at the beginning of our marriage. I could have spared us many years of conflict and grief. Don’t make the same mistakes I made, women. It is NEVER too late to change. NEVER!
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let
each of you regard one another as more important than himself.
One thing I think should have been on your Wisdom for Newlyweds. Don’t marry for “Love”. To tell you the truth I never once thought of “being in love” I just knew that no matter how he did things I would be willing to pick up his dirty socks and dirty clothes for the rest of my life if that was what was needed. We will be married 34 years July 8th which is the day that we became Betrothed to each other. Being a Messianic Jew that date is more important to us because there would not have been any way for us to meet if GOD had not brought us together. Things that happened to us all through our life and what happened when we were in the military before we met. I can see God causing things that I could not understand why the things happened when they happened and some of those things happened. They were meant to happen because God had to bring us together.
Do I love my husband now? YES completely and totally yes. From the day we met I can see that we loved each other from the first time we saw each other.
I understand what are saying, Jackie, but I am commanded by God in Titus 2 to teach women to “love their husband.” I can tell by your comment that you know that love isn’t a feeling but it is a choice and a commitment as you and your husband have shown. If marriage is based upon feelings, it is bound to fail since feelings come and go, but if it is based on a commitment to love through good times and bad times, it will succeed. Yes, God has blessed you with a wonderful marriage! Blessings to you.
These are great tips for newlyweds and those of us who have been married for years! Thanks for sharing these tips at the This Is How We Roll Link party! See you on Thursday!
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Perfect marriages do not exist. The relationship is a continuous compromise, but love allows happiness to the other person. I belive that love could last forever with good relationship.