Take the Mama’s Boy Stereotypes Out of Your Home
As you may or may not know, I am a mom of all boys. Five of them to be exact. Testosterone and dirty socks run through this house of mine like a well oiled machine.
Recently I sat with my sister-in-law watching her process this change happening in her life. This walk which I have already experienced.
She is a mother of three boys and expecting a baby girl in the Spring. Her oldest son became a teenager a few weeks ago and many, many emotions came crashing down. I have been there. First hand.
See, there is something so vulnerable about a mother’s heart. No matter where you are in your journey of life, what I am about to say applies to you. We are raising these boys who will someday leave our nest. A gift we prepare for others, only to give away.
Have you ever thought of it this way before?
Society says we need to cut the apron strings. I am here to tell you this stereotype is for the birds!
I am married to a man who is the baby of six. I am the oldest of five. It’s interesting, to say the least, as we both pretty much have personalities according to our birth order.
I am told he was a bit of a squeaky wheel and was given lots of lots of attention as a child. It possibly drove his sibling nuts. My husband, at the age of 48, to this day has such a bond and enduring love for his mother. And his mother, now in her mid 70’s, looks at her son with such love just as she did all those years ago when he was a boy. I see it in their relationship every time they are together.
As a matter of fact, he has such a strong love for her, there are many things he wants her involved in to this very day that society might not understand. She had a hand in naming our children. When our last child was born I sat in a hospital bed with an impatient nurse by my side who wanted that birth certificate paperwork completed hours ago. Lenny and his mother were working hard on the perfect middle name for Matthew. That is all Lenny asked of me… can my mother please help name our children. She helped with their middle names.
Who am I to deny that love? While I likely won’t be asking to help name my grandbabies, I understood my husband’s love for his mother. What more could I ask for than to love and marry a man who could love so deeply? After all, she taught him how to love… with every fiber of his being and so very unconditionally.
I have always said that if my boys grow up to love me half as much as my husband loves his mother, I will truly be blessed.
If you are a young lady marrying soon, I want you to know his mother loved him first. This man who you adore was first loved by his mother. She held him when he cried. She taught him everything she knew to teach him. She loved him unconditionally from the moment he was conceived.
If you are a mother raising a sweet little girl, I want you to prepare her. I want you to help her understand. I want you to take the mama’s boy stereotypes out of your home. I want you to teach her to know that his mother loved him first. I want you to teach her to respect and appreciate that.
If you are a mother raising a gentleman, I want you to be prepared to understand that you will be replaced. You will. And I want you to remember one thing as you hold your sweet baby boy in your arms, as you wipe the wounds of scrapped knees and as you guide him through this world. You’re not the only one. You see, this overwhelming love that explodes in your heart for this sweet little boy of yours, is something other mother’s just like you feel… including the mother who raised the man you married. Don’t minimize or discount the love he has for his mother or the love she has for him. She loved him long before you did. Don’t take that away from them.
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Beautiful and so true!
Thank you so much, sweet friend!
This is all very true. I am the oldest of three and my husband is the oldest of seven – we definitely were treated differently and act differently as adults because of it.
Beautiful post. I look at my children, and I still see the babies I held in my arms. I love watching them grow up, but I try not to think about that day when they’ll finally set off on their own.
I have a few year yet before he leaves the nest !I already told him that he will need a place for me to stay no matter if he is married or not! I love that kid SO Much it hurts! We are trying hard though to raise him as a gentleman and care for others.
This is kind of the opposite for our family, much like everything else we are unique. My husband and his mother are not very close but my mom and me are best friends and my husband and her are too.
Such a beautiful photos and post, I totally agree with you we try our best to raise them to be gentlemens
This is such a beautiful post! My boys are 4 and 7 and I dread the day the leave my nest. I hope one day they marry a woman who still lets me be a huge part of their lives and whom doesn’t mind me always being around.
I envy the fact that you married a man that had such a good, loving, upbringing, and that he is able to share every good trait that he learned with you, as his wife. I believe that children learn so much from watching how their family members interact as they are growing up, and that is why it is important to always lead by example.
I love reading this. Unfortunately I didn’t have any boys. I was graced with 3 girls and I am dreading the teen years!
Brought tears to my eyes! My son is 10 and it is hard to think of him growing up. Beautiful post and oh so true!
That simple sentence speaks volumes and really helps put it into perspective. I hope my future DIL understands that!
FIVE boys?! I bet you keep busy!! This was a great post. I don’t have kids but I hope to have a house full one day!!
This is such a beautiful post. I really loved it and it really gave some perspective on the whole MIL thing.
This is such a heartwarming post. You are lucky to have such a husband who could love so deeply – that is every woman’s dream husband, I believe. 🙂
Such a heartfelt post. I agree, the love that our husband has for us and for our kids is came from his Mom, who loved him first.
This is such a beautiful post. I think is is amazing to let you Mother in Law help you name your children. Kids grow up so fast. It really feels like they were born yesterday and they are in College and University now.
Awwwww I love hearing that others have that family closeness!!! Unfortunately for me my hubbies family… Ughhh…. They aren’t that into family -_-
My husband and I were just chatting about how many FEW years there will be with children in our home. Its sad to think how fast the time will go!
My huz is the youngest boy and his mother’s and his relationship is very strong. She just loves him; you can see it in her eyes. And he is a baby!!!! Lol. I have to remind him sometimes that it’s not my job to be like his mother.
That is so sweet! I was always taught to judge a man by how he treats his mother, and this holds true in most cases.
IT’s wonderful that you supported that relationship instead of being jealous or overly resentful. I’ve seen both, the former is always better than the latter.
This is an awesome post! My son is about to be 8 and all I can see is this little baby boy I gave birth too. I just don’t want him to grow up. Ahh. I never knew love until I met my son!
Thank you for sharing. My oldest son just went to the US maybe he left the nest and my three-year-old son still in preschool so I have some time to go before I have to deal with him leaving the nest.