Bring Harmony Into Your Home

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Did you know that when you quarrel with your husband, you are disrespecting him and men value respect more than anything else? Ken and I argued for 23 years. Now, I can’t even remember the last time we argued.


What changed? I decided I didn’t want to argue with him anymore, so I was very determined not to. I figured if my friend, Sandy, can go her whole marriage without arguing with her husband, so can I!


bring harmony into your home

Why do we quarrel with our husbands? I never quarreled with people before I got married. Did you? What happened? The Bible has some verses warning about quarreling wives. Here are a couple of them ~

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. {Proverbs 21:18}

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. {Proverbs 25:24}

Do you know there is not one verse directed to a husband to not quarrel with his wife? Why? God has an ordained order in the home to bring harmony and many, even Christians, don’t follow His ordained order. This order is that the husband is to be the leader of the family and the wife is the help meet to her husband.

I have written about this topic before but I am bringing it up again to try to encourage you to let your husband be the leader. If there is one leader and the wife respects him as the leader, there will be no arguing. Even if you don’t think your husband would be that great of a leader, it doesn’t matter because God said the husband is to be the leader, not the wife. Peace reigns in a home where there is only one leader. Peace and harmony promote a wonderful environment to raise children in.

Therefore, nagging {which usually is the source of quarreling} is repeating something more than once. Yes, share your thoughts and concerns with your husband, but only once, unless he asks. He most likely heard you the first time and doesn’t like to be told the same thing over and over again. None of us like this, but especially the leader of the home.

stop nagging

We are also called to respect our husband. What helped my marriage radically was when I asked Ken to tell me every single time he felt disrespected by me so I could change my behavior. I found out I had been using my tone of voice, my words and even my body language to disrespect him. Since learning to truly respect him, we have harmony in our marriage!

Most of you are married to good men; they work hard to provide a living for your family, they are faithful to you and they love your children. They are worthy of your respect and should not have to put up with a quarreling wife who bucks his every decision. If you desire a great marriage with your good man, begin working on not quarreling anymore and respecting him. Your children will appreciate having harmony in your home and your husband will grow to deeply love and appreciate you for it.

MORE Marriage Advice:

Lori Alexander has been married for 33 years. She has four grown children who walk in Truth and two precious grandchildren. All of her children are happily married to godly spouses. She loves teaching women to be sober, to love their husbands and children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to their husbands as the Bible instructs her to do. Always Learning is a personal teaching blog sharing what she has seen work from God's Word in her life and the lives of many others. "A wise man will hear, and will increase in learning..."{Proverbs 1:5}.

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